I know. Ive been a bad blogger lately. And, I can’t even blame my work schedule this time. I haven’t been working much either. I’ve been home being mommy, keeping up the house, trying to remember to pay bills, and reading books on my Kindle app.
I’ve already started writing the sequel to Forever Love and I’m already 3k and 7 pages in and the story keeps flowing. It does take me awhile to get my writing onto the computer though, so I’ve been using Quick Office to write and then when I find time sit with my phone next to me and type it in MS Word.
I have another full filled night at work to look forward to, but at least I’m off tomorrow. I’m beginning to hate retail!
And, I know it’s not teaser Tuesday or Thursday, but let’s call this Wordy Wednesday, so I can post this teaser from my WIP. Forgive me if there are places were the tenses change though. I’m just writing it and then I’ll go over and fix all that stuff in the next draft.
Cyn heard the beginning notes of Here comes the bride and turned to her dad, “It’s time.” She squeezed his hand harder, took a deep breath and waited for the doors to open. She couldn’t believe that she was getting married today. Just thinking about marrying James she couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. She glided down the aisle towards the altar where James was standing. He stood with his back to her, which she thought was a little weird, but didn’t think too much of it. She just smiled and waved to friends and family as she made her way down the aisle. She wanted to get to James and begin the rest of her life.
Cyn’s father let her arms go and handed her over. “She’s all yours.” He said, grinning. He adjusted her vail and Cyn looked up expecting to see James standing there, but he wasn’t there. It was Abbey, James’s best friend instead.
“Abbey?” she questioned, her heart suddenly in her throat.
“He told me once that if something ever happened to him that I was supposed to take care of you and that’s what I’m doing. I know that we’re already in the church, but, he got down on one knee, “Cynthia Jane Clark, will you marry me? I promise that I’ll do my best to make you as happy as James did.”
“Did? What are you talking about Abbey, where is James?” Cyn began to panic trying to remember to breathe as it began to sink in what he was saying.
Abbey took her hand in his, “I know that this isn’t the best place to say this, but the plane that James was on has gone missing and they don’t believe that there could be any survivors. James is believed to be dead.”
Cyn could feel the ground swaying beneath her and grabbed out for Abbey’s shirt so that she wouldn’t faint. “This can’t be happening.” She repeated over and over as she slid to the ground holding her head in her hands.
Abbey sat down next to her and took her head in his hands. “Cyn, James would want you to be taken care of. He would want both of you taken care of. Will you please let me do that for you?” he asked, almost pleading. He just wanted to do what his best friend had wanted him to.
“I can’t. I can’t do this right now. Can you please take me home?” she asked, not letting herself cry until she was in private.
Abbey tried to take her arm, but she pulled away. “I can do it.” She said and gathered up her dress, marching down the aisle unable look anyone in the eyes. She just wanted to go home and forget this ever happened, but she wasn’t sure where home was right now.
She’d been staying with James’s family so that she could take classes while James was gone, but now that he was assumed dead, she couldn’t say that he was definitely dead yet, she wasn’t sure if she should stay there. It’s not like she was family.
She stood there for a moment until she heard movement behind her, Alison, Abbey’s girlfriend and Cyn’s best friend, stood next to him holding his hand.
“Ali, what am I supposed to do now? I can’t just marry Abbey so that someone can take care of me. I know that James would want me taken care of, but I just can’t. I don’t love Abbey. And he’s your boyfriend.”
“I know, but he’s also James’s best friend and you know that if James wanted him to take care of you, that’s what he’s going to do.”
“But that’s not what I want. Doesn’t anyone care what I want?” She screamed, it felt good to scream.
“Of course sweetie,” said Ali, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. She could smell her perfume, Adidas Fruity, and breathed it in deeply. She began to feel urges that she’d never felt before and pulled away.
“I shouldn’t be doing this.” She bit her lip, staring into Ali’s eyes.
“What are we doing?” Ali asked. She sounded innocent, but Cyn could tell from the teasing tone in her voice that she knew exactly what she was doing to her.
“You know exactly what you’re doing right now.” Cyn said through gritted teeth. “It’s the wrong time for this and you know that as well as I does.”
“Why?” she asked innocently. Cyn looked over tears in her eyes, “I just found out that my fiancée is presumed dead and I feel like I want to crawl into your skin. That you are the only person that can give me the comfort that I need right now.”
“Well, let’s just take this one day at a time for now, she turned to Abbey, “Can you go tell James’s parents that Cyn’s going to be staying with me tonight? We’ll be over tomorrow to get the rest of her stuff.” She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. It was the most innocent kiss that Cyn had seen between Abbey and Ali.
“I understand, he said and stood in front of Cyn, “My offer still stands, if you’re ever ready. I know James would want you taken care of.” He repeated again.
“I know, but I just can’t. It just seems wrong.” Cyn started to walk away, then turned and said, “I’m sorry.” She wasn’t sure if she was saying that because she was sorry that she was turning down Abbey’s proposal or that she wanted to be with his girlfriend.
The ride back to Ali’s house was a quiet one. Ali wasn’t sure what to say to make things better because there wasn’t anything that could be said to make the pain that Cyn was feeling go away at that moment.
Cyn shifted in her seat, adjusted her seat belt and began to speak, “What do I do now? It’s not like I can go back to living with James’s parents. It would be too awkward considering that I’m no longer with their son, or am I? I don’t even know right now.” She was beginning to ramble.
“You can stay with me as long as you want. And, despite what I said at the church, I promise that I’ll keep it platonic.”
“Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me right now. I’m just so confused about what I’m feeling. I never thought that I could be in love with two different people at once.”
Ali squeezed Cyn’s hand over the console in the middle of the front seat. Cyn shifted back over to the other side of the car trying to get comfortable. She took a deep breath trying to ease a cramp, but it didn’t stop. “Ali, I think we need to get to the hospital, I’m having contractions.” She couldn’t believe that she sounded as calm as she did.
“Okay, hold on tight.” Ali pressed harder on the gas and gripped the wheel tighter as she made an illegal U-turn and headed in the direction of the hospital, praying that she wouldn’t get pulled over before they got there.
“Are you in any pain?” she asked, glancing over at Cyn who was pale as a ghost. “It just feels like really bad cramps right now. Do you think this is my punishment for wanting to be with you?” Cyn asked, gritting her teeth through another cramp.
“Everything is going to be fine. The doctor will probably put you on bed rest and we’ll go back to my parents’ house and I’ll take care of you.” Ali stated.
“You think that you have this whole thing figured out don’t you? I just found out that my fiancée is missing and presumed dead and now I might be losing our child and all you can talk about is getting in my pants!” Cyn yelled angrily.
Cyn sucked in a breath, “Oh my god! This hurts!” she gritted her teeth and tried to breathe as a contraction took over her body. “Why is this happening to me? It’s not time for her to come yet. I’ve still got three months to go.”
“Maybe this is a sign.” Said Ali, trying to be helpful, but she could tell by the rude look that Cyn was giving her way, she was being anything but helpful.
“Can you please stop acting like you are happy that I’m losing this baby and just drive faster, so we can get to the hospital already?” Cyn hoped it was just the stress of losing James that brought on these early contractions, but she’d been feeling off the last few days, but didn’t think anything of it, except thinking maybe it was just nerves because the wedding was coming up.
Ali pulled up the emergency entrance and stopped the car. She put in park and got out to help Cyn get out of the car that looked like she couldn’t do much with the contractions hitting her as hard as they were.
She noticed an attendee coming towards them, speaking into what looked like a wireless mick.
An attendee came up with a wheelchair, “I’ll take it from here. You can park your car and come find your girlfriend later.”
Ali didn’t even bother to correct him that Cyn wasn’t his girlfriend, but just a friend and got back in the car. She felt bad leaving Cyn on her own, but she was in the capable hands of the attendee and she’d be alright.
Cyn tried to breathe through the twinges that were coming rather frequently as the attendee asked her questions.
“How far along are you?”
“How long have you been having contractions?”
“About twenty minutes or so.”
“Is this your first pregnancy?”
“Is there a father?”
Cyn didn’t understand why he asked that, and paused for a moment, taken back. “Yes, there is. Ali and I are just friends.”
He repeated everything into his
“Do you need me to call him?”
She started to say yes, but then it was like a slap in the face as she forgot that James was dead. “No. You can’t call him. He’s dead.” She said
“I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anyone we need to call for you?” he asked, pushing her through the halls. She didn’t know why he was being so nice, but figured that was how he was with everyone.
He stopped in the doorway and told the nurse what she’d told him and left her. “Let’s get you out of those clothes and into this gown and hooked up to these machines, so we can see what’s going on here with your little one.”
Cyn undressed and slipped on the hospital gown and put her feet up in the stirrups as the nurse began hooking her up to the machines. She had no idea what any of them were. She just knew that she was scared and desperately wished that James were there with her. The thought of James brought on devastating sadness and confusion and she started to wonder what the hell happened to the plane.
Loud beeps brought her out of her thoughts and the nurse frowned as she pushed the curtain away. “You need to calm yourself down right now. That beeping sound that you’re hearing is telling you that your baby is in distress right now. You know that it’s too early to have this baby right? “She questioned
“Yeah I do, but it’s just…” she couldn’t the words out. She tried to take a breath and speak again. “A few hours ago I was standing at the altar waiting for my fiancée to come through the door so that we could get married. But, do you know what happened instead?” The nurse shook her head.
“I found out that my fiancée is dead. My daughter doesn’t have a father now, so does that explain why I’m a little stressed out?”
“I’m sorry for your loss, but your daughter wants to join the world now and we can’t let her do that. She needs to stay inside for a little while longer.”
Cyn took a deep breath through another contraction. “Do you know where Ali is?” she asked, scared, her voice sounding like a little girls.
“I’m right here.” A girl with short brown in a pixie cut that framed her face came into the room. “Sorry it took forever to park the car.” She came over and sat in the chair next to the bed and reached over to take her hand. “So, what’s going on?” she asked, glancing over at the nurse.
“The baby is trying to come today and as much as were trying to stop her from showing up, she’s not listening. Her contractions are three minutes apart and I’m waiting for the doctor to show up so that he can check her vitals. She’s too late for a C-section, so she’ll have to have a natural birth.”
“Abbey and I will take care of you.” I know that her words were supposed to be comforting, but all they did was make the tears start flowing again. “I know that’s supposed to make me feel better, but it just makes me miss James even more. I still can’t believe that he’s gone.”
“You know that Abbey just wants to make sure that you’re taken care of since James isn’t around. We love you.”
Cyn knew what Ali wasn’t saying was that she loved her.
“Ouch!” she screamed as a contraction hit her with full force. “I thought that they were giving me something to stop these stupid things!” she exclaimed through gritted teeth as another hit just a few seconds later.
“I am.” Said the nurse walking over to the monitor to check something, and turned to Cyn. “But, your daughter has other plans. Your contractions are three minutes apart and she could come anytime now.”
“I heard you say that, but I didn’t think it was true.”
“We don’t have time to get you ready for a C-section, so you’ll have to deal with a natural birth.”
“Ali, I want James.” She started to cry.
“I know you do honey. We all miss him. I’m, going to step out for a minute and call Abbey and have him get down here.” She pushed the curtain out of the way and walked into the hallway.
“He’s on his way and so is James’s family.” I smiled through another twinge of pain gripping the bed sheets in my fists. “I can’t do this. I don’t have anything ready yet. I don’t even know where I’m living right now. Omg! I’ve got to push.NNow!” I screamed and bore down like I was taking a poop.
“Let me get the doctor. Don’t push again until I get back.”
“I cccant promise anything.” I breathed in and out putting my hands on my stomach and whispered.
A man about 6’2 with charcoal black hair wearing jeans, a button down shirt, and a white lab coat over it came in the room. He glanced down at the chart and then right into Cyn’s eyes. “Are you ready to meet your daughter today?”
“No.” she whispered. He gave her a sympathetic look and patted her leg. “Well, let me check you out and then we can get to pushing.” Cyn felt a little pressure as the doctor stuck his fingers inside of her. “Hmm. I hate to say it, but I can feel the head. That means it be long now.” He pushed down on Cyn’s knees. “When I say push I want you to push as hard as you can for ten seconds and then stop.”
I gritted my teeth and pushed as hard as I could. “Ok. Now stop.”
I leaned back onto the pillows on the hospital bed and took a deep breath.
“All I need now is one more push and you’ll meet your daughter.” The doctor declared, smiling up at me. I took a deep breath and pushed really hard “Uhhhhh. I sounded like I was taking a poop. “It’s a girl!” The doctor exclaimed holding up my daughter with the umbilical cord still attached to her. The baby let out a big wail and I began to cry. I couldn’t believe that she was here. She was beautiful. Tiny, but still beautiful.
“Who wants to cut the cord?” asked, looking over at Ali. She started to respond until a male voice answered, “ I do.”
I knew that voice. I glanced over and gasped. Standing in the doorway of the hospital room was James.
Cyn’s face paled. James? What was he doing here? I thought he was dead. His mom told me was dead, did she lie to me or did something else happen? As these thoughts were running through her head all she could do was stare. At James.
“We have a daughter.” It wasn’t the first thing she wanted to say to him, but it was what came out when she found her voice. He came into the room and over to her side, leaned down and kissed her nose. “I know.” He grinned.
“Does anyone want to cut the cord?” the doctor repeated.
James moved away from Cyn and took the scissors from the doctor and snipped it. The doctor handed over the baby to the nurse, so that she could get her cleaned up and checked out. She was extremely tiny being three months premature, so she would be spending extra time in the NICU for the next month or so.
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Said the doctor, getting up out of the chair. “You did a wonderful job, he turned to James, you should be very proud of her. She’s a trooper.”
“I know.” James stated.
“What do you want to name her?” he asked, brushing a piece of stray hair off of her forehead. Cyn hadn’t really thought about names yet. She’d wanted to wait until James came home to talk about them together.
“What do you want to name her?” James repeated.
“Amelia Grayson Lucas. Mia for short.” The name had just come to me in the last few minutes. It just popped into my head.
“That’s pretty. I like it. Amelia, it is.”